**Narrative Rough Draft**
I knew I wanted to be an MMA fighter in April of 1999. I realized this after watching my brother, Justin Davis, in La Crosse, WI second annual Toughman contest. So I began the long journey training in different disciplines to make me the best fighter i could be.
It was April 1999. I was in the dressing room with my older brother of three years. He was my childhood idle. He had no fear. He also had a major disadvantage in his lack of training. He was strong as nails. "Street Fighter" strong. He knew nothing about ring boxing, and was not afraid too admit it. When the ring announcer called his name and the crowd began to roar, I knew someday i would hear that same roar for me.
Justin ended up losing his fight that night in a very controversial decision. This is where I learned that training is the key to success, and i was not about to fail.
I was working part time and training full time. I was 6 feet tall and my walk around weight was between 143 and 148 lbs. I decided that i would cut weight down to 135 lbs so i would be taller than most of the other fighters at that weight. Since i took wrestling in school I decided the first step was to train boxing.
I began my boxing at 2 Step boxing gym in Rochester, MN. I spent every minute not working at that gym on the NE end of Rochester. After two years of solid boxing I felt ready to move on to Judo/Jiu Jitsu.
It was 2001 And I spent all my time consumed with training. I joined a new up and coming gym in IA. It is now known as Miletich Fighting Systems. Pat and I became good friends and the next three years would be the toughest of my life. Pat's gym was focusing on all types of mixed martial arts. Since wrestling and boxing were out of the way he suggested I start Judo/Jiu Jitsu. I was progressing very quickly and after three years I earned my purple belt.
I believe that all the training and discipline made me the person I am today. I learned about myself and my body through this long process. I also learned patience and how to be humble. With all that, I knew I would be prepared for anything the ring could throw at me and I was ready.
It is a good start as rough draft I noticed some grammar problems like capitol I's
ReplyDeleteYou correctly started to use them but didn't follow through with it. Good story, it was short and to the point with good description. Good work Robert B.
Good job. I watch the UFC sometimes. Looks challenging. Can't wait to read more posts! Keep up the good writing.
ReplyDeleteOk, good draft. Because you start your narrative watching your brother fight, I think you need more details about that particular fight. Give us some play by play. What sounds did you hear, what did you see? What was the controversial decision? How SPECIFICALLY did that inspire you to seek out formal training? Describe the rigor of training rather than just the progression between boxing and martial arts. Ultimately, you need to go back to your brother by the end because that's where you started. It makes sense to nod to him in some way or make his presence integral in your training. Read this out loud to catch errors. Good work, I just want to know more!
ReplyDeleteGood start for sure, could use some more detail maybe. Easy to follow with good flow, over all good draft
ReplyDeleteThought your draft was great. Yes a few errors but it is a draft. Hope that you do well in your fighting. I do know that it is a rough sport and I watch it quite often. I think that the right discipline gets you or for that matter anyone further in life. Good luck in your search to be a great fighter.
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